You would think that weeks of bad weather would inspire me to look deep down in my toughts and imagination, to push out all that's been lingering in my mind on a piece of paper a blank Word page and let my fingers run trough keyboard carelessly, making days pass faster, mind lighter. It didn't.

What it did, it reminded me how boring feels like. Therefore, it made me do things I haven't done in a while, like cleaning my memory boxes before I move to the other side of the world. If I die and anyone would go trough all of those boxes, I would re-die of shame.

Back when I was still in school, we didn't yet have smart phones, or even the need to use phones as much, and we were "texting" on a piece of paper, back and fourth, hoping we wouldn't get caught by the teacher. We were doodling about how we hate school, when we'll go out, exchanging gossip, talking about guys we were crushing on, and OMG there were so many of them!! I swear by reading all of those papers, I was in love with a new guy every month. Half of the names I don't ever recognize anymore. But I do have like 10 pages in my personal diary written about how he's totally the love of my life and bla bla bla. Now I barely find someone who's interesting enough to think about and I'm crushing on the same guy for ages. Pathetic.
It was all so supeficial back then. All I was looking in a guy was his looks and the way he kiss. Both of which are still important today, but definitely lower on the list.

Anyways, besides thousands of guys I liked and talked about with my friends in between classes, the funniest thing of all of those saved written papers, is reading my sentences and seeing how my thinking and point of view has changed. I was so careless and wild and had totally different expectations of certain things. I do feel like who I am now, was who I was back then, but because of the society expectations and the desire to fit in into the unknown, I was holding back a big piece of me.

Just an example of how superficial I was. One year (doesn't say which) me and my friend each made a New Year's resolutions list of 6 things we'd like to achieve in the next year right, well three of them were about sex. Like is that what's really important to accomplish in a WHOLE year?? Haha hilarious. Really funny reading it now, but you can see why I want it all burned.

There's a big deal of these papers, these dialogs between my friends that I am going to keep, along the long letters we used to send one to another, even though we saw each other everyday in school and after (fun fact: we still do), but there are so many of dumb conversations and items that I can't wait to see burn in our fireplace while sipping on hot chocolate.

Well, got to go now, have to go start a fire!



 In the expectation of the movie, and high recommendation for the book, I decided to give it a try during my summer vacation on the Croatian coast, and read it before I see the movie. I didn't even know about this book prior seeing the movie trailer and I'm so glad I got this in my hands!

R. J. Palacio - Wonder

Suprisingly the book was much easier read than I expected at first. Being aware of Auggie's condition from the begining, I was constantly tense for something very bad to happen. What was happening to him was bad, but it didn't go in the direction where my first thoughts went. 
It's a beautiful story about being different, dealing with that and in the end, being accepted for who you are as a person, and not for how you look like. I feel like, being different is OK, but it's also OK for people needing some time to adjust to that difference. What is not ok, and it never will be, is being mean twoards people who are different, just because it's not something you're used to.

What I liked the most, is that the book gives other characters their own little chapters, explaining their side of the story. You get to see how everyone around him is dealing with the same issue in a totally different way. It's an easy read, beautiful read and it leaves you warm hearted. Definitely worth a read.

Now I'm even more thrilled to see te movie! Plus, my favourite Julia Roberts plays in it, wohoo :))

Have any of you read the book? Did you like it?

What should I read next?? Any recommendations would be great! :)

27 and unemployed


written 09/01/2017

 There's a slilver lining in everything we at first think it's the worst. Of course when something bad happens, right at that moment, nothing seems to make it better and all you think about, is how your world and all of your plans just fell apart. After talking about it and getting everything out of your sistem, you begin to see the good in the bad.
Like for instance, it's September the first, and if I was still employed, I wouldn't be enjoying this totally Fallish day and a cup of tiramisu for breakfast. It also wouldn't be a start of first Friday in forever, which is followed by Saturday AND Sunday when I don't have to go to work - at all! For the last year and a half, every weekend was a working weekend. Imagine the joy.
Another silver lining is that I don't have to deal about stuff that's not worth half a fuck.

Yesterday, the last day of August was (sadly) also the last day of celebrating my birthday, and the silver lining in that, is that the amount of junk food gets reduced by a milion! Haha, ok enough with the silver lining! But for real I'm sad all the celebrations are over because I love how everyone took the time, got together and you know, just had fun. I'm grateful for all the birthday love and the people I can share it with. As long as I have that, I don't mind being unemployed. But not for too long, because I do get bored, and momma need some money. Man, money sucks!

Unemployed or not, plans change all the time and I'll just make the best of it. I'm still super excited for what's comming next for me and I can't wait to tell you all! Now, if you don't mind, on a day like this, I'll be updating my closet, summer stuff OUT and Fall stuff IN! Yay!! #teamFall