I SHOULD DATE MYSELF

02:28


 Talking about ourselves, our lives and especially about our personality is one of the hardest things to talk about, yet it's mandatory when meeting new people or trying to get a job you've really been wishing for. Not the hardest because you wouldn't wanna talk about it, but the hardest because you don't want to be a dick and let others have the chance to speak too.


What we have to keep in mind, is that there is always a fine line between too much and enough. It's a line I sometimes forget to follow. Nevertheless, I think it's totally normal to talk about ourselves as much as we do. It does feel good, and you know what: why the hell not?!
We should be proud of who we are and what we do, and as long as we run this life of ours, those percentages are pretty well arranged if you ask me.

There are listeners and there are talkers. I like to think of myself as a good listener, but I much more prefer being on the other side. When I find something or someone interesting, I can't stop talking about it for days! Which may be hard for the listeners (aka my poor friends), so I often have to bite my tongue and force myself to keep quiet. The struggle is real.

I hope that the person I will end up with, will be so interesting and full of stories that I won't even mind being quiet. That happens, right?

What I am the most afraid of, is that I'll never find someone who would completely understand me. I mean my friends do, but I can't marry them. Being single for so long makes you love yourself way more, it makes you learn to love being alone and being the dictator of everything, what, when and where you do. It would take someone very special to bend the rules habits you've set for yourself. You learn to do everything on your own, and you soon realize that there is no reason for someone else to do the things for you. The little things that are relevant later in the relationship. Little things like men are "supposed" to do, but you've learned to do them in the meantime while waiting for the princ charming to show up. Changing the light bulb. Changing the oil in the car. Paying the bills. You need to learn how to share little tasks so the man feels needed. I believe every guy would be proud to have a woman who is handy and knows her way around the house and life in general, but at the end of the day, he needs to feel manly and like I've said before, needed. Silly, but tottaly understandable. Achievable? Probably, with time and a lot of biting my tongue.

I'm not so sure where I wanted to go with this article exactly, but what it is, is that it's ok to proudly talk about your life, yourself and about all the little shit that's going on, all you have to be careful about, is giving others the same time to express themselves too, and learn that you don't always have to do everything by yourself. Just find the right person and I bet eyerything just flows naturally as it's supposed to.

This week we're expecting a new heat wave, starting today actually, so I'm going to tan my booty a little before it get's too hot! Have a lovely week everyone!! And WHAAAAT, tomorrow we're waking up in August already! Damn, this summer is slipping away so fast.

Talk to you soon,
xxo

8 shows I can't wait to..

09:47


..start watching again!!

Monday, Thursday, thunder or beautiful day AF, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't watch a movie or have a mini (or huge, depends on my mood) marathon of a series that I'm obsessing over. Sex and the city and Friends are shows that I re-watched about a billion times and I'll get enough of the two never.
But besides those two, I am a huge fan of so many (too many) tv shows out there, and here are my current favourites and the ones I can't wait for the new episodes to air:

  • SUITS - ok they're back already, but it was such a long wait *sight*
  • NARCOS - September 1st!! 
  • STRANGER THINGS - I mean, the ending?? The vibe, those kids,..this show is eyerything!
  • YOU'RE THE WORST - huge shift in the last season, but I can't wait to see what they're going to do next
  • NEW GIRL - Schmidt, Nick..can't decide who makes me laugh more
  • THE HANDSMAID'S TALE- scary, exciting, unexpected (haven't read the books) love scene that I can't stop thinking about what might happen in the next season
  • THE ROYALS - just watch it, you'll see :)
 With todays weather any my overly emotional/pissed off menstrual symptoms, I've decided to stay at home, where Nutella is near and New girl episodes are playing one after another like on conveyor. 
I could use a cute guy I'll never have the curage to talk to in real life, to hug and kiss and watch funny shows with me for the rest of the day. Or a dog. Or both. Ok both for sure.

What shows are you're a big fan of? Have any good ones to recommend? Please do, there are never enough of shows to watch!☺

07/21

02:00


 I never understood, untill now, how people older than me, could just casually drink a glass of wine during the day with no special occasion being the reason. Untill I grew up, I thought the purpose of wine or any type of alcohol, was to get drunk. So when I saw my family and older friends drinking it for no reason kinda confused me. Though the more I get closer to the big 3 0, the more I seem to enjoy the stuff I didn't exactly know how to appreciate the right way when I was younger.
The taste gets better with age, as Jake Gyllenhaal does, or better yet, it expands your taste limit. Just for a "fun" fact, this week I bought myself a Brie cheese, a cheese I could never get even close to my mouth before, and I finished it, by myself, in less than two days! It's all I could eat from now on. Seriously, bring on the Brie cheese!

Did you ever believe your parents when they said stuff like, you will do just the same as me when you grow up, and just wait untill you get older? Well I do, and my anwser was always the same: "I will NEVER do/say that." And look at me now, sitting in our backyard, with wine in one hand, struggling to write with another, with nothing but cheese on my mind. The joke is on me baby!

All of the above is a strong indictator that I'm getting old as fu#k. That and the fact that I recently discovered that my closet is no longer divided in casual section and night out/party section. My closet is now all casual with a taste of activewear section, so now even if I'd wanted to go clubbing, I basically can't even go. The bright side of this, probably nonsense, fact is that I really don't feel like clubbing right now. Low get-together with, ofc, wine and some cheese (haha) is my kind of party. That and hangouts in the city, spontaneous nights that turn into the best memories.

In exactly a month, I'm getting one more step closer to the 3 0, so just as a reminder, to my future husband, now it's really the time to come and find me.

Untill next time!
xxo

A LITTLE LIFE

11:09



Summer lovin', happened so fast..
(can't get this song out of my mind for the whole day! haha)


//

 Soooo, I finally got to finish a book that's already been talked about A LOT last year, and even though I showed up a bit late to the party, I'm definitely not sorry I came anyway. Here's the thing, you either love it, or you hate it. I've gathered that by reading/ watching multilple reviews afterwards, and I can, after reading it, see why. The book is called A little life, by Hanya Yanagihara.

 Last few pages of the book were the hardest pages to read out of all the books I have read to this day, but strangely so, were also the most liberating pages. Liberating in both as you can understand Jude's decision at the end, respect it kinda, and it also liberates the reader emotionally. The book drags you deep in all the characters, especially, and mostly, Jude's, and it makes you feel everything his life made him feel. It's draining, extremely hard, but at few, unbelievably touching moments it trigers happines, hope and tingles all over your body. It makes you smile, laugh even, but it mostly makes you cry.
It's sad to know that people, strangers actually, have the power to make someone feel unworthy and make them believe that they are ugly, unlovable and not deserving of happines of any kind. As a child, what you are told, is likely what you'll grow up believing, and even though life somehow, one day manages to push you in the more positive environment, it's hard to change your mind. After experiencing so many bad things, over and over again, I can completely understand how even knowing you're on the better, healthier side now, you can't convince yourself fully, or at all, that you are worthy of way more that you've been told so.

Jude, the main character makes you fall in love with him. He's the most generous, inteligent and beautiful (I can imagine) figure who has infinite love and respect for his friends, but is just not capable accepting the same from others because of the bad people he was forced to be around with untill way too late in his life.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into buying this book, because I bought it based on the cover, but 700 and something pages long book was definitely the best book I've ever read. I highly recommend it.

Everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect. Is abuse something we can ever win at stopping? It frustrates me that there's so little to be done of preventing it and so many great souls are damaged because of it.

Untill next time.

xxo

90's K I D

12:10


 It's was of those Sex and the city and Pinterest kinda days, and besides sliding trough pages and pages of cool things I yet have to diy, dym (do it Myself), recipes I need to try and pinning countless style inspirations in my file, I've been thinking a lot about my earlier teenage years and about that, je ne sais qua feeling, that especially in the summer, I can't seem to shake feeling and thinking about. 


I did write that, I still think the same, but as I'm feeling nostalgic and all, I'll give it a try.

Spoiler allert. It's the best kind of feeling, that's for sure. 
It's a warm feeling, that homey feeling you have when everything is how it's supposed to be, and even if things are not quite there yet, in that moment, that feeling gives you life. It assures me that I'll get there, and have that constant feeling once I do. I bet it might sound strange, but when that feeling overfloats me, I think of lakes, summer, Texas, ranches, playing as a kid with my brother and cousins, New York, open air festivals,..all adverse when put together, but all so compatible in one way.

You know what I used to looove back in my growing up? Magazines. I couldn't always afford it, obviously, since I was a teenage girl with minimum to absolutely none income (funny now, definitely not funny back then), but my mom would almost every month, when the new issue came out, suprised me and with my own copy, which I was probably overly excited about, and made sure I kept all the issues of all magazines for years somewhere in my room because that was soo cool back then. Fansy overpriced books that just lay there untouched on a coffe table? Not cool. (though#sorrynotsorry, I'll definitely have one now). Magazines were a window to the world, and I devoured every word, every article and the next day in school, me and my friends would talk about things we had read and posters we've glued to our walls. There were so many things I first found out about in those magazines and I miss reading about new things in todays magazines. I miss being excited about something you have to wait a whole month to see what's inside, what they'll come up with and then going over pages again and again, seeing what you already saw, but still on edge to find something you've maybe missed.

If that explains any better, a touch of a feeling I get these days. The feeling a new magazine gave me so many years ago. (12 years ago counts as many years ago, right? (looking aside with a finger on my chin emoji))

Listening to Khalid, Lana Del Ray and Rihanna's American Oxygen all give me that warm fuzzy feeling. They all bring back my teenage memories and make me excited about making new ones. 

Do you ever get a certain feeling over and over again? The hardly explainable feeling that lights up your mood even when you're not feeling the best? I'd love to hear what triggers that feeling in your days, and what does it compare to?

Until very soon,

xx

A R O

09:55



 There are no words powerful enough to describe the feeling you have when you lose a loved one. No words can make you feel better, and there is not enough time in the world that could make it go away. You learn to live with it, life makes you suppress the pain, but whenever you stop, just for a second, it all comes back.

I guess it's different with each person, the way we deal with things, but I was never good at it. Not that it's a thing you can be good or bad about, but if it were, I'd be the worst at it.
I never understood the way of life. Why there has to be and end for everything?
Why can't our eternity be here, on Earth?

Yesterday I lost my pet, my best friend of 16 years and can't believe that I'll never see him again.
We did everything together. We were each other's best company. Because of him I got up early in the morning, because of him I learned to love woods and nature again, because of him I didn't feel alone. When we went for a walk, he was always making sure I was behind him, and when he got weaker, I was doing the same. He never left my side. He loved belly rubs and he always made me hold one of his legs so I wouldn't miss a spot. He loved his tennis ball and I always had to trick him so he would let it go. I was always laughing when he fell on the same trick over and over again. I already miss him so much. I miss him greeting me when I come home. I miss running in the woods and I miss us just laying in the sun. I'll miss his stinky smell on a rainy day, and I'll miss saying last good night to him forever.

It would make me so happy to have him again, but I'm happier knowing he's not in pain and that he was with the people who love him the most in his last moments.

Somethings are irreplaceable, and he, Aro, is one of them.
Love you forever buddy <3