06/12

17:49


People in GTA are so active! Not only in sports, because I feel like everyone does that all the time (yawn), but also in maintaining social life. Everybody keeps saying Toronto is super expensive (because it is), but at the same time, bars and restaurants are constantly full. Who would have thought that there are more irresponsible people in this world besides me, who spend money on food and drinks even though they (we?) have no idea where the money's gonna come from at the end of the month for rent.

Even though social life here has absolutely no comparison to what we have back home, it's still very much exsistent. One of the struggles I had, and still do, is meeting new people. Scratch that. Not meeting people, but making friends. By the way, fun, but totally random, fact: I seem to be way more approachable here than I am back home. Also, not being on my phone 24/7 might actually help. In Slovenia, I had never experienced a random person walking up to me and started talking. Here it happens all the time. So I guess I don't have a resting bitch face after all. Ha universe!
Ok back to the point. Making new friends is hard! I met a lot of great people over my months in CA, but hardly made a fist full of friends, sadly none of which are in Toronto. So I am back to square one.
Besides my "full time" job at Aritzia, I started working on different events and that was where I expanded my option of making new friends, and I must say, it's quite successful.
I am all for meeting and getting to know a person in real life, but Bumble (dating/BFF app) has helped me out a great bit when I first got here. So when you're moving to a new city, or just traveling - that's your app! Honestly though, I never thought I would need an app to meet new people..


I also never thought I'll eat potatoes for breakfast, but here I am, ordering my share of potatoes with eggs and waffles on a Sunday's morning plate.

Oh, and in case you wanted another picture with my tongue sticking out, trying to reach the ice-cream..you're welcome.

But yea, especially when you're older, I feel like it's harder to really connect with someone. By this age, I think we've all sorounded ourselves with the people we loved and trusted the most over the years of growing up, and the need for someone new as a friend, is not really there as much. It might sound harsh, but I don't need new friends, I already have the best bunch. The situation though makes me want to have new ones now. It can get really lonely starting somewhere fresh, and I need a buddy to try all this restaurants and cute coffee shops with me! You know, the basics ;p

Little Italy

19:40

08/06/2018

Whoever thought that moving to a different country is easy, was clearly one lucky son of a b*tch. It's been six months since I moved to Canada, and I'm still struggling on a daily bases. Starting in Montreal, then London, and now finally, and hopefully, to my final destination - Toronto.

Finding a job is relatively easy, while making a career or finding an apartment that's not a shit hole - completely different story. Finding an apartment here is one of the most stressful things to go through. Most of them are in awful condition for a price that doesn't match in no right mind, a lot of them have crazy rules that don't make any sense (no friends over, no cooking, staying quiet after 10pm,...) and then there are the good ones, that are of course already gone by the time you sat your ass down on the metro to go see the place. The demand is so high, and the rent prices are insane. The worst part about it however, it's that people need a place to stay, so they have no choice to take what there is, even if it means over paying for not even an apartment, but a shit hole room with typically at least three other people. I moved to Toronto in May, and lucky for me, I got contacted by someone who was just looking for a new roomate. A nice young couple, living in Little Italy, where I lastly unpacked all of my things, put books on the shelf, and got my own closet space.

Before moving to this place, I stayed in the core of Toronto, which was amazing, but now that I'm here, I realize the downtown life is not for me. I know that's what I always wanted, but you can't know for sure until you try it, right?

Not only my room is super cute, but the whole apartment is nice, and what's most important, is that my roomates are cool people! Again, I was very lucky. Plus, did you know that this is the first time in my entire life that I live with roomates? And no, living with siblings doesn't count.

Today I woke up, and decided to explore the area I live in and I love it! People say hi to you on the streets, cashiers also say hi too you and don't start by saying if I need a bag, there's old people (there's close to none downdowntown), SO MANY dogs, a ridiculous amount of coffee shops and little stores, and oh..

But yea, the apartment was a start. Now it's time to find a job. A real job. Which I don't think I'll get that lucky with that soon, but I'll keep on trying. Right now I work at Aritzia, but it's not full time as it should be, I mean it kinda is, but it's not..anyways super weird, so job hunting yet again! Living in Toronto is not a piece of cake, but there sure are a lot of places where you can eat it! You probably wouldn't be able to afford it for some time because the cost of living is crazy expensive, but hey, as long as there's an option right? Thank god I'm good at baking myself..

Anywhoooo, here are some snaps I took on my little walk this morning..

breathe

10:48


Who would have thought that making a decision about deleting deactivating an Instagram account will ever be a hard one. Or important one for that matter. It's an app. It's just a god damn app. How is it we get so addicted to scrolling and liking thousands and thousands of pictures, especially of people we've never met in our lives? Tell me, does Rihanna really care or even notice you've liked her picture?

I love Instagram, but as with everything else, not everything you love is good for you.

Especially with the Active now feature, it became too much. My focus was on the wrong things, it was to the point I was obsessed with being on the app 24/7 and not one good thing came out of it.
It's been two days without it, and it's a bit weird, I'm not gonna lie. I'm so used to clicking on the app all the time, and now that I don't have it, I literally have SO much time on my hands and I haven't yet figured out what to do with it. So many times I find my fingers subconsciously leaning towards the phone and I have to remind myself that there's nothing to see.
It's weird, but at the same time, I feel like a big burden has been lifted of my shoulders.

At some point I will get back into it, I still love to post pictures and find inspiration, but I have to clear my mind first, forget about some stuff, focus on everything else, and make sure not to overthink as much as I do. Because I clearly do that too much.

Is it passion that drives us insane?

On the other note, I finally finally finally found a perfect apartment I just moved in yesterday! So I hope only good things keep on happening from now on.

OUR NUMBERED DAYS

05:38


 Often times I find myself thinking about how once a social butterfly, has retired so quickly and freely, no question asked, only to become an old soul with young heart, beating for things like extensive books, fresh baked pies and fridge stocked with Moscato d'asti.

As if that wasn't enough, I recently became obsessed with poetry. I always liked it, but I only truly understand it now. Few years back, I was introduced to Rudy Francisco and his If I was a love poet piece, and that was one of the best things I've ever heard in my life, but as life goes as it goes, I never really took the time to dive into poetry more. Until now.

Man is it good! I am always fascinated by books and writers, great sentences and the whole message of the stories, but poetry..oh god, sometimes using only 5 words is enough to blow my mind. Five little words can have so much power, and make more sense than the air we breathe. The use of methaphores, the mind behind it, I don't even know how to explain how good it is. My excitment and love for poetry growns by each page I turn, and I wanna become a part of it. I've been trying for a few days now, but nothing comes out. Creative writing is so much easier, but I am determined to and so excited to try it.

But on another note, I have to start socializing more, because right now, the only thing saving me from going down as an old cat lady, is the fact I don't like cats.

//

 when snow falls
i long for grass
when grass grows
i walk all over it
when leaves change colour
i beg for flowers
when flowers bloom
i pick them

-unappreciative
(by Rupi Kaur)

1MIL LIKES

10:47



//

 I like early mornings and beautifuly prepared breakfasts. I like walking around bookstores and seeing people reading books on the floor because all the chairs were taken. I like cancelled plans, late night movies and white wine on a Sunday afternoon. I like googling facts about history. I like facts period. 
I like plans, but I live for spontaneous days. I like white roses in the winter and hydrangeas in the summer. I like discovering new music and listening to the same 5 songs 24/7 until I find 5 new songs. I like car rides and singing out loud, making my friends do the same. I like cleaning and keeping everything in place. I like huging people. I think we shoud hug more.
I like eating my chocolate in a certain way or it doesn't feel like I've eaten it at all. I like decisiveness in people, and control in me. I like getting randomly drunk. I like to laugh so uncontrollably I have to cover my face because at that point I'm definitely ugly laughing. I like having people around me that can make me ugly laugh. I like playing board games. As many as possible in 1 hour time.
I like to spoil ending of books and movies for people I care about. I know they like it too.

Haha.

//

THE SHAPE OF WHATEVER

22:17


 One of the things I was excited about coming to Canada for, and I don't care how lame it sounds, was to watch the Oscars, finally, at the normal hour. After just finishing it, at a decent, yet still not I'm-totally-OK-with-it hour, truth to be told, I'd much rather stay up until 6AM, with my friends by my side, than to almost loosing my mind, trying to find an online streaming site. Ugh!

Firstly, who knew it's harder to watch Oscars in Canada than it is in a small little country that majority of living human beings don't even know about, and secondly, did I really stay awake for so long, just to go to bed disappointed over the final result? I really don't feel like The shape of water deserved an Oscar for Best picture. But that's just me. Though I'm usually right. #justsaying

Call me by your name or Lady bird! Something that's raw and relatable, and..not a fish!
(I know there's much more to that, but still..major turn off)

Me and my three closest friends have this tradition of watching the Oscars together every year, eating bunch of junk food and trying to stay awake as long as possible. Back home, the event usually starts around 2AM and ends around 6AM, so the struggle of being awake is real. This year, as me and Lana are both far away from home, we all decided to watch the event together over facebook, facetime or whatever would work the best. The guys were obviously a no show this year as we weren't there to wake them up, fuckers, but me and Lana made it till the end!

We'll eventually grow out of it, won't we, this tradition of ours? Would it, in time, be acceptable for all of us to leave our husbands/wives and kids at home while the four of us would drive to lake Bohinj, guilt free and have our night like we used to? Would we even want to?
Man I hope we do!

I'm off to bed now, way past my bed time!