BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE

00:21


 I could stay under hot shower drops, sliding down my body for days, thinking about the dreams I just woke up from. Not often it happens to me, but when it does, it sorta haunts me, as if having bad dreams is somewhat better than having good ones.
You see, when it comes to dreams, it's easy comparing them to memories. In time, bad memories go away, and the good ones are keept forever. As it should be, but when it comes to my dreams, the good ones are usually about the things I had, but for various reasons will never have again. So because of that, I'd take bad over good dreams anytime.

 You know what type of dreams I'm talking about, right? That good dreams that get you feeling all the feels, the ones where you can literally feel happines bursting out of your body. That genuine happines. Then you wake up, and cry in the shower.
Ok, minus the cry, having such vivid dreams about something you subconsciously wish for, really sucks to have. It's like eating a piece of heavenly chocolate, and then not having the chance of finishing it. But worst.

I've read a lot about learning to controll your dreams, but I'm not sure I've got the patience to try it, as it takes a lot of your time and, well patience, which I lack of. Sue me.
On the other hand, there's also a bit of macohist inside me, enjoying the pain, and as I'm kinda used to it, I can't just let it go. It's strange how we don't seem to shake off some habits or even people just because we feel at home with it. Even if it's bad, that homey feeling somehow makes it better. Only it doesn't, but it's the change I feel we fear even more and that's why we stay.

But overall, I think I'll have to learn to try and controll them, because it's just not normal, number one, having so many bad dreams that I do, and second of all, I need to have good dreams in general. Not just about things that make me sad when I wake up. Why can't I just have normal dreams like normal people do?

//

Oh, and good morning to you.

Have a great start of the week! :) 

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